live like you're dying

Holding your 12 year old dog while he is injected with the "sleeping" liquid, is something that I figure will be burned in my memory for quite a while. If not forever. Before I lost grip of composure I'd looked at my brother and father, crying. It's kinda weird seeing your dad cry. Weird yet eye-opening. I gave them each a hug before the doctor came in.
I rubbed Benny's belly, and before his body went limp he wagged his tail and gave us his old grin. As if to say, "Don't cry guys, it's okay, I can see Heaven!" I know some people don't believe animals go to Heaven, but at these kind of moments you pray to God they do. That's when I sobbed my eyes out, 'cause reality only becomes real to me when it happens, and it generally hits pretty dang hard. I gave him one last kiss on the top of his soft yellow head, and whispered I love you one last time.
And we were out of there.
...
After Ben died, I wished I could take back ever yelling at him for drooling at my feet when I ate something, or that I took him on more walks or threw him more tennis balls. Those things made him do his happy groan and wiggle his body like a worm. Those things made me smile in any mood. He was my goofy goober. (: (I use to always sing him that sponge bob song haha he'd go berserk) So to me life is even more precious, and death more realistic. My dad told me he had blood clots in his leg, and that's how my grandpa died. I don't know if it's silly to be completely out of my mind worried. But I am and I think of Benny dying and 10 billion times as heart breaking. Sometimes it's hard to remember to show them you love them everyday, but I don't want to regret again. So live life like your dying! Speak sweeter! Read the Good Book! (Live Like You're Dying- Tim Mcgraw) <3